Center for Biblical Coaching

I’M SO MAD!!!

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

You know, there are some people that are angry at everything? Other times anger seems justifiable. But how could Paul say, “Be angry, but do not sin…” how in the world do we do that? Yeah, yeah, I hear ya!

In spite of what you or others may think, anger is not an acceptable sin. Yet, we say things like, “just let him blow his top and then he’ll be alright.” There are few things that destroy the unity of the family, the church, a team, and your office more than being un-reconciled. Think about Moses’ anger and how he stole the glory of God by striking the rock instead of speaking to it. Think about Cain’s anger and how he killed his brother because of anger. Think about the husband/wife relationship or the parent/child relationship…words hurt. A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

So many people excuse their anger:

- I’m not as bad as __________________

- I couldn’t help it

- If you just knew __________________

- She makes me mad

- I’m Irish, Spanish, Greek, etc..

I. Description of Anger

A. All anger is not sinful

1. God is angry – Psalm 7:11; John 3:36

2. Jesus was angry – Mark 3:5

3. Believers are commanded to be angry – Ephesians 4:26

B. Right anger – God given emotion to help solve problems biblically and quickly

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C. God’s anger is the example for us to follow

1. He is angry at sin – Psalm 7:11; Romans 1:18

2. He is angry at rebellion of His people – Hebrews 3:7-11

3. God was angry with Moses when Moses stole His glory by hitting the rock rather than speaking to it to obtain water for the children of Israel – Numbers 20;12; Deuteronomy 3:26

4. Jesus was angry at people offending other people – Mark 3:5

5. Jesus was angry at the abuses of His Father’s house – John 2:13-18

6. God is angry:

a. When His standards are violated

b. When His name is defamed

c. When His glory is stolen.

D. Examples of right use.

1. Moses when he saw the golden calf after receiving the Ten Commandments – Exodus 32:19

2. Phineas in Numbers 25 when he killed the man who openly was having an immoral relationship with a Midianite woman after God had forbidden such relationships.

3. Jesus in the temple – John 2:13-18

E. When your anger is not sinful.

1. When you see someone sin against another person

2. When you see someone offend God

(Both of these situations must be handled in a way that pleases God)

II. When anger becomes sinful.

A. When it is motivated selfishly.

1. Violation or loss of personal rights, opinions, desires, etc… (see list)

2. The hurt of this violation or loss becomes more important than pleasing God.

B. When it is handled sinfully. (see list)

1. Violation of the biblical principles of communication

2. This may produce one of two extremes between.

a. clam up

b. blow up

3. Other ways that are in between these two.

a. Attack a substitute (a less threatening subject)

b. Deny it.

III. Steps to handling sinful anger.

A. Biblical thinking about the events that trigger anger

1. See God in trial – Genesis 50:20; Romans 8:28-29

2. Make room for God’s wrath. – Genesis 50:19; Romans 12:19

B. Biblical replacement for sinful anger.

1. Recognize, admit, confess – Proverbs 28:13; 1 John 1:9

2. Return good for what you think is evil – Genesis 50:21; Romans 12:20, 21

3. Act to solve your part of the problem – Matthew 7:3-5; Romans 12:18

4. Communicate to solve problems – Ephesians 4:25-32

a. Speak truth in love

b. Let love diffuse the problem – Proverbs 15:1

Sinful Responses To Anger

1. Do not admit it; clam up Ephesians 4:26,27

2. Rage; get even Proverbs 6:34

3. Act foolishly Proverbs 14:17

4. Do not understand; distort facts Proverbs 14:29

5. Stir anger and strife in others Proverbs 15:1,18; 29:22; 30:33

6. Be hard to live with Proverbs 16:14

7. Fail to rule your spirit Proverbs 16:32

8. Get angry habitually Proverbs 19:19

9. Don’t be good company. Be harmful Proverbs 22:24,25

10. Become “ticked off” by others. Proverbs 25:28

11. Be fierce and destructive Proverbs 27:4; 29:8

12. Devour others (like dogs) Galatians 5:15

13. Get even Romans 12:17-21

14. Behave poorly. Show poor manners 1 Corinthians 13:5

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